


Loser

by DragonBaby2559



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonBaby2559/pseuds/DragonBaby2559
Summary: After being betrayed by Zevran, the Warden is emotionally unstable. This leads to her little demons coming out. Will the Warden be able to fend off the demons coming to prey on her in her time of vulnerability?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really old story. It was written when I was doing song prompts for a friend. This is based on "Loser" by 3 Doors Down, and features a heartbroken Warden who was betrayed by Zevran for the Crows. For the purposes of this story, Zevran may or may not have died in the fight in the alley. It's really up to you. For that matter, the end is up to you. Hope you enjoy!

The Warden stared in disbelief as Zevran betrayed her. They were on a mission in Denerim, just a normal mission. The Crows weren’t supposed to be here, and Zevran wasn’t supposed to go back to them.  
“I’m sorry, my dear Warden.” Zevran’s voice was wearing on her nerves. He betrays HER and says SORRY!  
The Warden continued looking at him for no more than a few seconds before throwing her hands up in a sign of giving up. “I can’t deal with this. I’m leaving.” Her face betrayed none of her emotions as she turned away from the man she thought she loved.  
“I’m afraid we can’t let you do that.” The sound of an arrow whizzing past her head caught her attention. For the most notorious band of assassins in Thedas, you think they wouldn’t miss a shot.   
The Warden stopped walking yet refused to turn around. She let out a tiny whisper that told only her two other companions how she really felt. “Okay… If that’s how it must be.”  
As quickly as she had finished her sentence, she was facing the Crow who had shot at her. A dagger was leaving her hand and all was still before the alley broke into a fight.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
It had been three hours since the fight with the Crows. Since the ight with Zevran. How could she have believed him this entire time? Did he ever truly side with her and her cause? It didn’t seem so. In fact, it seemed like he couldn’t wait to leave her. He had run away with Talissen before she could get near him with the pointy edge of her sword.  
She sat in the room supplied by Arl Eamon in the large castle in Denerim. The light was just dim enough to see the outline of Alistair watching her sharpen her blades and retighten the string of her bow. She looked up from the sword and whetstone she had been using.  
“Leave, Alistair.” Her voice was gravelly. She hadn’t spoken anything since before they left the abandoned alley. She looked back to her sword, hoping that he would get the hint that she didn’t want him in her room any longer.  
“No,” She let out an exasperated sigh, “Not with you like this.” He paused until she looked at him once more. “Every flick of your wrist scares me. I don’t know what you could do.” She noted the worry in his voice, but couldn’t care to help relieve it.  
“LEAVE!”  
Alistair was taken aback by the sound of her voice. It had sounded like the scream of Zevran’s name she had let out after the fight. He remembered vividly what had happened. The fight had ended, and Alistair had seen her looking for Zevran. Alistair had watched as the Warden’s face fell when she had realized that Zevran was gone. The Warden bent over, fell on her knees, and let out a cry of grief and anger. The cry of a brokenhearted woman who had lost the only thing pulling her through the darkness.   
Alistair stood, then walked out of her room, taking one last glance at her before shutting the door.  
The silence in the room was unbearable as the Warden though back to every night she had spent with Zevran. Every time they had locked eyes from across the fire, smiled at each other while walking through the camp, and kissed behind the trees, away from the prying eyes of their companions. She did not like being left with her thoughts. Filled with anger and the desire to make the quiet go away, she threw one perfectly sharpened dagger at the wall. The dagger made a dull clank against the wall before clattering to the ground. The silence returned and the Warden collapsed to the floor. All she could think about was that he had lied to her.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Are you sure I lied to you?” A familiar voice filled the room.  
I didn’t look up, but answered promptly. “Yes, and now you have left me like this. Congratulations, you have gained control! Control me, oh puppet master.” I said spitefully, still refusing to look at my visitor.  
“My Warden, you wound.” The voice was his, the words similar to what he would say, but the feeling in the room was not one that I would ever associate with my lover.  
I pushed myself to my feet, still facing away from him. While I tried to balance myself on the bedside table I shouted back to him in a flash of anger, “You mock my pain!”  
Do you want me to leave? I felt like he was inside of me, looking through my mask and shattering me from the inside. I was not even sure if the voice was his.  
“Yes… No.” A pause. “I don’t know. You have infected my every pore. I can’t think with you. I can’t think without you. I can’t function properly anymore.” I stared at the candle on the table, watching the flame flicker. The flame almost seemed to be calling to me, and by the Maker, I might just follow it.  
“Don’t think of me anymore. Move on.” His voice was coming closer to her, ever persuasive. “It pains me to see you like this. You are no longer strong. Give up. It will go away, I will go away.” His arms wrapped around me as his voice came closer to my ear. I didn’t look down, I only kept focusing on the flame in front of me. “You know how to make me go away, don’t you?” His voice was seductive and calm. I felt instantly warmed by it and pushed back into his body.   
“I don’t know.” I answered his question, my voice coming out in a sliver of sound that surprised me by how unlike myself it was.   
I felt his arms tighten around me, the hold becoming almost uncomfortable. “Sure you do. You know what I’m trying to say, don’t you?” I tried to push myself away from him as he continued to pull me closer, holding my arms down to my side. His voice became filled with rage as he kept shouting that question in my ear. “DON’T YOU!”  
I finally pushed him away and ran towards the other corner of the room, launching myself over the bed. My eyes were closed as I shouted at the thing in my room. “Go away!” I turned towards him, hoping that he wouldn’t be there. As I scanned the empty room, it did little to calm me.   
Left once again to the silence of my room, I pondered what had just happened. Was this addiction to my lover the reason I could talk myself into suicide? Was it a demon taking advantage of my weakened brain? All I knew for certain was that after I have killed the Archdemon, I will find Zevran and I will kill him. He deserves no better. I will not be a loser this time around.   
I crawled into bed and before I blew out the candle, I could have sworn it had whispered to me, thanking me for making it easy.


End file.
